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Sunday, March 12, 2006

For many women, friendships are among the most important things in their lives. Some assume that the longer the duration of the friendship, the better the friend. But that's not necessarily true.

More than a year ago, an officemate informed me that my friend had been borrowing money from people outside of our company using my name. She made them believe that I was in dire need but was embarrassed to do it personally because of my status as the highest officer of our company. It reached a point that these persons had been requesting to personally collect from since I have been failing to pay them for months now. I was so shocked to hear this so I confronted my friend but she denied the report. She used the excuse that this was the doing of people who wanted to destroy our relationship. Since she was my long time friend, I believed her.
Months later a lady came to see me in my office and she told me that I owed her a big sum of money and I have been in default for more than a year. She was embarrassed to do it but she needed the money very badly so she had to personally collect from me. It was only then that I realized that the report was true all along.
It was a signal of the end of a friendship.

According to Lain Ehmann, "No matter what the reason, ending a friendship can be very difficult. But by allowing unhealthy or unfulfilling friendships to continue could be sacrificing your own well-being." Some advised me to end it gracefully. They suggested that I let things cool... gradually distancing myself by not phoning her liked I used to or by not joining her for lunch.

My friend's behavior had been so hurtful that I needed to end things completely and quickly. I did not heed the advise of my friends. I decided to take the direct route. I have concluded that the connection is unsalvageable and I'm better off without that person in my life. By doing so will make room in my life for more positive nurturing people.

What would you have done if confronted with a disrespectful, ungrateful & abusive friend?

11:10 AM | Permalink |


  • At 3/12/2006 11:59 AM, Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD

    I think knowing myself, I would have confronted her and if she still denies, then I'll bring her face to face with the person collecting and see if she still denies it. She is very clear picture of a person who wants trouble, finds trouble. Anyway,
    here's what I can say....Trouble usually doesn't last forever. It may be the means to show you a different way to go, a different way to live. It may be an opportunity to start afresh.
    Challenges in life can enrich us and make us stronger. God's creation including man, was designed to overcome.

  • At 3/12/2006 12:56 PM, Blogger no_average_girl

    you know, girlfriend, i'm thankful i don't have to make those decisions... may He give you His wisdom and discernment through it all!

  • At 3/12/2006 7:19 PM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills

    I think you absolutely did the right thing. You were betrayed in a HUGE manner...nothing can change that and nothing can really salvage a friendship that had stopped being a friendship the minute she took your name and besmirched your fine reputation by lying and cheating other people out of money, using your good name. That is some kind of sickness, I guess, and it sounds like she really needs some kind of help, for sure...It's very sad that this has happened and I feel very badly for you....but it does sound like to me that she needs professional help. Moving on from her is a good thing, as I see it.

  • At 3/12/2006 7:41 PM, Blogger mar

    You did the right thing. I couldn't continue a friendship if there is no trust. Unfortunately I don't forget this kind of issues so I couldn't ever get over it and accept this person again (it wasn't a small thing...) I feel very sorry for you losing a friend this hard way.

  • At 3/12/2006 11:18 PM, Blogger mommyof4

    I am sorry but if a friend did this to me I would have kicked her butt! It is good you ended it you are better person than me in this kind of situation because I would have got some kind of revenge!

  • At 3/13/2006 12:50 AM, Blogger The Mistress of the Dark

    That's so true. Sorry I haven't been by lately. I've been trying to get everything situated on my blog. It's password protected now. If you'd like to keep reading email me at andreag (at) earthlink (dot) net and I'll give it to you.




    I love your new layout. It's adorable!!

  • At 3/13/2006 2:47 AM, Blogger Jean-Luc Picard

    A disrespectful, ungrateful, abusive friend is an oxymoron. They can't really be a friend.

  • At 3/13/2006 4:38 AM, Blogger Lazy Daisy

    Scripture says If you have anything against your friend, or they have anything against's always your responsibility to go to them. When trust has been destroyed I believe you must confront so she would know that she has been found out. I would hope she would begin paying off her debt but I would insist on going with her to "confess" to her debtors the real story. In the US it's considered fraud and she could be arrested if you or the creditors press charges.

    I personally would be through with the friendship as she ended it earlier by lying and stealing.

  • At 3/13/2006 3:54 PM, Blogger Chrixean

    I'm actually more curious to know who she is.....hmmm.....